


what the fuck, richard??

by ultsvnct



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Gay, M/M, gay shit lol, i love 2ji, im so sorry yall i couldn't resist, kpop, seventeen gc, sexual but not sex, soonchan is cute lol bye, svt gc, vine quotes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-14
Updated: 2018-02-24
Packaged: 2019-03-17 22:54:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13669011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultsvnct/pseuds/ultsvnct
Summary: wonwoo makes his way into mingyu's heart with vine quotes and memes.





	1. hey bitch

_2:38 AM, Saturday, Feb. 10th_

_**unclecracker** __started a_ _new_ _chat with **mingyuwu**_

 **unclecracker:** hey bitch

 **unclecracker:** sup bitch

 **unclecracker:** suck my dick bitch

 **mingyuwu:** huh

 **unclecracker:** shit. wrong person.

 **unclecracker:** i'll leave u (b emoji)

 **mingyuwu:** wait nO don't leave me uncle cracker i'll suck ur dick 

 **unclecracker:** wooOOAH THere buddy

 **unclecracker:** please, for the love of god himself please don't use uncle and i'll suck your dick in the same sentence. thank you.

 **mingyuwu:** well what do u want me to call you then? 

 **unclecracker:** well, you could call me wonwoo. that's my name

 **mingyuwu:** all of the homo, but you've got a pretty fuckin hot name buddy boy

 **mingyuwu:** my names mingyu and i love dick

 **unclecracker:** hey mingyu, my fellow lover of dick. 

 **unclecracker:** but what if im some scary 67 year old man w a tiny peener?????? then would u wanna suck me off?

 **mingyuwu:** i mean, no,,,,,,, but still.

 **mingyuwu:** what do ya say, wonwoo?

 **unclecracker:**??? im confusion

 **mingyuwu:** can i succ ur dicc?

 **unclecracker:** um no, but i have a question for u boyo

 **mingyuwu:** diddly darn it 

 **mingyuwu:** ok, go for it

 **unclecracker:** can i add u to this gc with my friends? it's a wild, gay time up in that bitch !!

 **mingyuwu:** of course!!!!!

 **unclecracker:** ok great!! but before you join i just gotta say a few things.

 **unclecracker:** there are alllll colors in this fuckin rainbow. there are 13 of us, all boys. there are two bisexuals, eight gays, one ace hro and one full ace.

 **mingyuwu:** wooooow thats a lot. u can add a pansexual to that list because thats what i am, fyi :) 

 **mingyuwu:** id hate to sound retarded but uh whats ace hro

 **unclecracker:** its ok i didnt no at first either lol

 **unclecracker:** its like gay but you don't like sex, you just want romanticism. no dicc

 **mingyuwu:** oh! ok. that's cool!

 **unclecracker:** u learn somethin new everyday :) 

 **unclecracker:** also! we have -6784 filter so say whatever you want and never take death threats seriously. ready?

 **mingyuwu:** hopefully!!

[woooosh we're in the squad gc]

_**unclecracker** added  **mingyuwu** to the chat._

**mingyuwu:**  sup y'all!1!

_**leefuckingjihoon** left the chat._

**_mingyuwu:_** alrighty then.

 **unclecracker:** for FUcks sAkE JOSHUA ADD HIM BACK

_**churchoppa** added  **leefuckingjihoon** to the chat._

**leefuckingjihoon:**  fuck all of you.

 **junhuithebadbitch:** KISS My aSS BITCH mOTHERfUCKER

 **bbyboo:** FUCK YOU TOO BITCH

 **succmin:** ooooo wonu is this ur sugar daddy???!1?1/1

 **jeonghangyourself:** i heard sugar daddy and i rushed to the scene

 **seungchode:**?????? ok but you have a perfectly good one right here

 **jeonghangyourself:** the more the merrier bby

 **asshaole:** fuck you jeonghan youre a fat slut and i hope u die

 **farquaad:** yaint being very welcoming. hello! my names hansol, im 20 and i am VEry gay for seungkwan

 **bbyboo:** i am seungkwan, also gay and 20 :) & i got a fat ass

 **chansdaddy:** ay im soonyoung and my baby boys name is channie i love him and i'm 21 and bisexual but mostly gay lol

 **thechanson:** i'm channie ;p and im the youngest, i'm 19

 **jeonghangyourself:** i'm OBVIOUSLY jeonghan. i'm the second oldest n i love seungcheols dick & moneyyyyy

 **seungchode:** hey i'm seungcheol im the dad and i'm also bisexual but mostly gay hehe

 **junhuithebadbitch:** i'm minghao's daddy and my names jun and i'm gayyyyyyyyyyyy and 21

 **asshaole:** i'm minghao, im 20 and i'm gay as fuk ;)

 **succmin:** i'm seokmin!!1 and im ace and 20 and happy as can be :')

 **churchoppa:** hello! my name is joshua and i'm gay and 22 :) jihoonie, my love, is ace hro and 21 :)

 **leefuckingjihoon:** hi.

 **unclecracker:** and you know this but im wonu and im gay and 21.

 **mingyuwu:** hello everyone! i'm mingyu, i'm pansexual, and i'm 20 

 **mingyuwu:** and,,, fyi,,, i'm not rich enough to be his sugar daddy ; (

 **farquaad:** #relatable

 **asshaole:** that's why u gotta be a street in the sheets and a sheet in the streets

 **churchoppa:** yes. i agree. 

 **mingyuwu:** KSJKAJKSJSK 

 **thechanson:** i fucking love slime so much. like. i know people say its dead but itll always live on on my heart.

 **junhuithebadbitch:** s l i m e

 **junhuithebadbitch:** seungkwan loooooves slime.

 **bbyboo:** junhui no. NO.

 **farquaad:** junhui yes. Y ES.

 **junhuithebadbitch:** one time seungkwan told me that he wanted hansol to bust a nut in slime and have him play with it.

 **leefuckingjihoon:** i just vomited. 

 **asshaole:** seungkwan, honey, that's not even bad. jun once told me to nut into his eggs that he was having for breakfast because the werent salty enough. 

 **jeonghangyourself:** wigs have been removed, tea has been spilled, and lives have been come for. 

 **unclecracker:** yoon jeonghan i k n o w youre not commenting on that. 

 **churchoppa:** ^

 **succmin:** ^

 **seungchode:** ^

 **jeonghangyourself:** seungcheol PLe ase spare me

 **seungchode:** bb u know i would never expose u but im not gonna stop these fucking heathens from doing it

 **mingyuwu:** i'm feeling so welcomed here omg :')

 **channiesdaddy:** lol jeonghan remember when i walked in on you trying to twerk

 **jeonghangyourself:** i hope you die, ugly whore.

 **unclecracker:** ha ha ha bitch go cry in a closet 

 **jeonghangyourself:** hey how come no ones exposing wonu to his new meat? tf? he's the freakiest of freaky

 **unclecracker:** i will kill myself. please. spare me

 **asshaole:** ha ha ha. silly bitch. you thought that would stop us? try it again, sweats.

 **mingyuwu:** ok w a i t back up

 **mingyuwu:** who told u i was wonu's,,,, meat? 

 **leefuckingjihoon:** he did lmaooo

 **bbyboo:** yeah he told us you go to his uni and that he sucked u off in the library today?

 **unclecracker:** w h at when DSId I sYA thsi i dont recall

 **unclecracker:** pix or it didnt happen !!!

 **thechanson:** u caught us lol he didnt really say that. 

 **farquaad:** lol back to exposing wonuu

 **seungchode:** LMAoskskk like that time  i walked in on wonu fucking a peanut butter jar to yaoi

 **channiesdaddy:** or that time he drank his own nut for $4

 **mingyuwu:** thats kinda hot

 **mingyuwu:** i mEAN EW WTF

 **succmin:** **,,,,,** anywho

 **leefuckingjihoon:** or that time he had a wet dream about taemin

 **unclecracker:** k it's time to hajima

 **jeonghangyourself:** my name is jasmine masters, and i have something to say.

 **jeonghangyourself:** it's 4:28 am and i, for one, an too cute to be tired tomorrow. i got work. good night ugly thots!! luv u all!

 **seungchode:** gotta go dog some cheeks gn luv yalllll

 **junhuithebadbitch:** ^ <3 - hao and i

 **farquaad:** if kwannie didn't have a dick in his hand he'd say night & love yallll

 **channiesdaddy:** my channie and i say goodnight love u hoes

 **leefuckingjihoon:** josh and i say night

 **churchoppa:** *and we love u guys

 **succmin:** nite & luv u all

 **unclecracker:** good night and i l o v e every single one of you precious motherfuckers

 **mingyuwu:** i love you already omg good night <3

 **mingyuwu:** everyone

 **bbyboo:** mmmk hunty ;))

 

 


	2. wait what

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone's confused

_Sunday, Feb. 11th, 2017, 5:57 pm_

**chansdaddy:** g uyS 

 **leefuckingjihoon:** kys soonyoung

 **bbyboo:** what bitch

 **mingyuwu: *** roblox death noise*

 **chansdaddy:** ranch is so good wHat T he fuck

 **chansdaddy:** i would LITERALLY drink it

 **seungchode:** do WHAT

 **succmin:** soonyoung that's disgusting

 **succmin:** i will literally pay you $3 to drink ranch

 **thechanson:** LMAOOO IF HE ACtually did

 **chansdaddy:** [video file attached]

 **farquaad:** i once drank vinegar 

 **churchoppa:** w hY the fuck would you dot hat

 **asshaole:** i think the better question is

 **asshaole:** why does he do crack for breakfast

 **unclecracker:** IT STARTED oN A WEe kEND INMAY

 **junhuithebadbitch:** oh no.

 **bbyboo:** IW AS LOOkin FOR ATRENTION

 **mingyuwu:** wait wha t

 **churchoppa:** NEEDED INtERVENTION

 **jeonghangyourself:** theyre 5sos stans

 **unclecracker:** fwLT SOEMBOSY LOOkNG AT ME

 **mingyuwu:** ,,, 

 **bbyboo:** WITHA POWd ERRED WHITE COMPLEXION

 **mingyuwu:** tragic. 

 **churchoppa:** FEELn THE CNONNECTION

 **leefuckingjihoon:** no offense but i will piss in all of ur eyes if you choose to continue

 **asshaole:** can u even reach their eyes

 **leefuckingjihoon:** die u ugly whore

 **junhuithebadbitch:** i hate it when i go to eat minghao's ass and he's wearing pants like. you ruined the mood

 **unclecracker:** damn. i've never eaten ass so i can't relate

**farquaad:** bruther u haven't LIVED til ur boo has sat on ur face omfg shits so crispy 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wOWIE OVER 400 OF U READ THIS TRASH DKSMMD THANK U


	3. wait what (cont)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a continuation of chapter two :)))

**bbyboo:** especially when ur the one who's ass is being eaten and he fucking motor boats ur ass cheeks

**asshaole:**  lmfao seungcheol can't relate either his bitch will put indents on his face with his mf tailbones

**thechanson:**  i sNORTED 

**seungchode:**  bitch at least people don't tell him to blink twice if we feed him

**asshaole:**  ONCE. 

**churchoppa:**  yall really haven't lived until u get a blowjob from jihoon

**leefuckingjihoon:**  ONCE. **  
**

**junhuithebadbitch:**  lmfao he probably just pretended it was a ring pop. 

**mingyuwu:**  ok that reminds me of a question i have.

**thechanson:**  ask it, hoe!

**mingyuwu:**  whos got the biggest schmeat?

**seungchode:**  lol not me they don't call me seungchode for nothin 

**bbyboo:**  hansols dick is NICE and normal sized.

**bbyboo:** i ain't no size queen 8 inches is enough for me ladies

**churchoppa:**  ill have u know my dick is a good 7 inches

**leefuckingjihoon:**  ^ tru

**asshaole:** jun is rlly skinny so u know what that means 

**juhuithebadbitch:** 9 inches and a grower 

**succmin:** idk ive never measured it 

**succmin:** but i think like 6.5 or 7 inches as an estimate

**bbyboo:** im just here to say wonu has some MEAT

**bbyboo:** but i only know because we share a room lol don't get mad han

**farquaad:** s'all good

**unclecracker:**  uh i guess? idk ive never measured either

**unclecracker:**  but like compared to a febreeze can almost the same size? idk

**unclecracker:**  [image file attached]

**mingyuwu:**  W OA H

**thechanson:**  lol nudes are common here tbh it's whateva

**mingyuwu:**  in that case

**mingyuwu:**  [image file attached]

**jeonghangyourself:**  i s that eVe n REAL

**sehngchode:**  ^

**unclecracker:**  ^^

**succmin:**  ^^^

**bbyboo:**  [image file attached]

**churchoppa:**  ok 1.) rip wonus asshole AKSKKS and 2.) seungkwan i tell u this a lot but u have a very nice ass

**leefuckingjihoon:**  he really does.

**farquaad:**  ^^^^!!! 

**jeonghangyourself:**  jokes on you bitches! i may have no ass but my face

**jeonghan:**  bitch i am CUTE.

**asshaole:**  bitch i can RELATE.

**farquaad:**  not to toot seungkwan's precious mf horn but hes cuter than all of you and has a perfect ass. stay mad! 

**seungchode:**  kill whitey! kill whitey!

**chansdaddy:**  lmfao my boy can strip, succ, and get fucked and is cute while doing so. his ass is FAT and he has a beautiful personality. suck on that, fugly cunts

**thechanson:**  soonie stooooop 

**mingyuwu:** oh, how i wish i had a boo 

**junhuithebadbitch:** wonu can relate. 

**unclecracker:** lmao thx jun i don't wanna  _die_ or anything, no!!!!!

**seungchode:** why are only u able to use underline and italics??? were in a gc

**unclecracker:** i'm  _jeon wonwoo_ thats why bjtch.

**mingyuwu:** ,,, he has a point. 

**bbyboo:** and a large dick that could be sucked by mingyu

**thechanson:** again, i sNORTED

**mingyuwu:** wait,,,

**mingyuwu:** do it again

**thechanson:** snort?

**mingyuwu:** ye s 

**jeonghangyourself:** what the fuck why

**mingyuwu:** are u wearing a pink and red sweater and black ripped jeans because if so im sitting behind u

**chansdaddy:** waIT UR TALL GUY???????

**unclecracker:** YOURE TALL GUY?????????????1?2??2,

**seungchode:** oh my g O d

**mingyuwu:** huh???

**mingyuwu:** &im gonna assume the guy sitting with u and telling me to come over to ur table is soonyoung

**thechanson:** yes. 

**churchoppa:** OMG TALL GUY

**mingyuwu:** h u h

**farquaad:** ok so jun works at that cafe part time one time he saw u and took a pic and sent it here and we were all fucking DYING at how cute u r 

**bbyboo:** and so everytime u came in on jun's shift he'd take pics of u

**mingyuwu:** ur fucking joking

**junhuithebadbitch:** look to ur left

**mingyuwu:** o h my god

**mingyuwu:** wait did u really take pics of me

**junhuithebadbitch:** [10 image files attached] 

**mingyuwu:** WHAT THE FUCKSJ


	4. crazy shit man!!

_7:25 pm, Tuesday, Feb. 13th, 2018._

**mingyuwu:** i still can't fucking believe i met you guys in person like thats,,,,

 **farquaad:** crazy shit man!

 **unclecracker:** ^

 **mingyuwu:** and i'm really impressed that all fucking twelve of you were able to just mosey on down to the cafe like that like don't yall do things like school and work

 **jeonghangyourself:** yeah but if i cry they let me leave and i couldn't pass up the opportunity to meet THE tell guy like wtf

 **thechanson:** i'm still laughing about the fact that jihoon fucking sucked ur titty when u got up to pee dnjksalfhbskjla

 **leefuckingjihoon:** shut the fuck up u cunt bitch whore i ran into him and hit my face on his chest

 **leefuckingjihoon:** i know!!!!!!1!111! i am short!!!!!!!! stop fuckinh tellingme you assholes!!!!1!1

 **seungchode:** chan you're like a half inch shorter than him idk why ur talking

 **chansdaddy:**...... u right

 **churchoppa:** y'all let's just be nice to each other ok?? we're finally complete and we should be happy about it.

 **junhuithebadbitch:** i agree

 **junhuithebadbitch:** wonu ur fucking lucky i have the love of my life already or i would've sucked ur mans dick for you because f u vk he is a cutie

 **asshaole:** rt

 **unclecracker:** fIRst and foremost he is NOT my man  ~~~~

 **bbyboo:** yet

 **unclecracker:** SECondly bitch no u wouldn't i know that for a fact

 **mingyuwu:** yeah,,,,, i'm not his man

 **bbyboo:** yet!!!

 **junhuithebadbitch:** how can you be so sure?

 **succmin:** yall are not having this conversation here. shut it. 

 **junhuithebadbitch:** k.

 **unclecracker:** don't worry we'll talk about it later.

[wooosh new chat]

_**bbyboo** started a chat with  **unclecracker**._

**bbyboo:**  wonu im not gonna say this one more fucking time u need his meat

 **bbyboo:** even if ur tryna deny it i sAW you lookin at him like he hung the fucking moon bithc

 **unclecracker:** what i ahve no i deA hwat the fuIck ur Talki gn about buster

 **bbyboo:** ok well if you don't remember that, i think you'll remember jacking it to the picture he sent.

 **bbyboo:** but if you don't, i have a video!

 **unclecracker:** you do  _not_

 **bbyboo:**  oh, i don't?

 **bbyboo:** [video file attached]

 **bbyboo:** :)

 **unclecracker:** seungkwan please if thst ever gets anywhere i will  _kill m y self_

 **bbyboo:** i wont expose you if you tell me the truth

 **unclecracker:** ,,,,,,,,ok 111!!!!!!1

 **unclecracker:** i really like him but i'm scared to say it because idont know if he likes me baclk or anyhting and i dont wanna mess anyhtin g up because i think im actau;;y in love wiht him and that scares me even more becaus eim so young i dont even know wat love is and its so fucking scray becayse ive never relsly felt like this about anhone beofre

 **bbyboo:** aw wonuuuuuuuuuuu thats so cute 

 **bbyboo:** ok honey. i'll help u figure this out.

 **unclecracker:** no no i dont need helpp!!!11!

 **bbyboo:** idc youre getting it anyways

 **bbyboo:** love u :) bbbye

[wooosh back to squad gc]

_7:46 pm, Tuesday, Feb 13th, 2018._

 

 **chansdaddy:** shiiiii they whipping out the periods

 **farquaad:** not to keep this going but why does it matter if hes not even ur man

_**unclecracker** has removed  **farquaad** from the chat._

**bbyboo:** add him back.

_**unclecracker** added  **farquaad** to the chat._

**farquaad:**  u wish i was sorry bitch

_**unclecracker** changed  **farquaad** 's id to  **headlinesheadlines**_

**unclecracker:** u  _wish_ i was sorry bitch

 **succmin:** YALL

 **succmin:** WE GOIN TO FLORIDa

 **seungchode:** what now

 **mingyuwu:** i have $3.

 **succmin:** that's ok in this case!!!! yall know how i was going to go with my nieces and nephews and siblings and parents and shit??????

 **asshaole:** no i didn't know that but go on

 **thechanson:** ^^

 **succmin:** well!!!! all of them excluding my brother and dad got sick so i have 10 extra tickets to florida in a week!!!!1!!!11

 **seungchode:** well thats great but uh if u didn't notice there are 13 of us

 **jeonghangyourself:** oh i got it babe

 **churchoppa:** how do you have money we're in college

 **jeonghangyourself:** some old dude payed me $1000 for a pic of my feet in water

 **bbyboo:** can i have his # i am br r oek

 **bbyboo:** omfg i just read the previous messages i am YODELIN

 **headlinesheadlines:** he is and my ears are ringing

 **mingyuwu:** wait holy shit seriously

 **succmin:** yes!!1

 **mingyuwu:** omfhgn i am crying i love you all so much wtf

 **mingyuwu:** ight bet!! we going to florida

 **chansdaddy:** hfuieralhg omg channie!!1! look

 **thechanson:** omllll i am so excited when do we leave?!?!!/1/1

 **succmin:** saturday :) 

 **unclecracker:** i was going to say i have to ask my mom but,,,,,, im grown and i dont have to and i am s o happy about it

 **mingyuwu:** youre so cute wtf

 **leefuckingjihoon:** wowie im excited

 **churchoppa:** i'm glad <3

 **bbyboo:** wait how long we finna be there???? 

 **succmin:** till break ends so,,,

 **succmin:** 2 weeks :)

 **seungchode:** we can be a cute lil family omg

 **junhuithebadbitch:** where we finna stay?

 **jeonghangyourself:** ~~~~^^?

 **succmin:** we have a house on the beach down there which his 6 bedrooms and a bed couch thingy

[wooosh back to seungkwan and wonu's chat]

_7:50 pm, Tuesday, Feb 13th, 2018._

**bbyboo:** say youll take abedroom with mingyu

 **unclecracker:** no non no pls seungkwannmskaldn

 **bbyboo:** youve got 5 minutes or until the berooms are taken

 **unclecracker:** ofmkjsjdsk i am going to _e n d my life_

 **bbyboo:** say it first

[back to squad gc once again]

_7:53 pm, Tuesday, Feb 13th, 2018._

**bbyboo:** han and i call a bedroom

 **asshaole:** jun and i call one too

 **chansdaddy:** channie and i too

 **unclecracker:**.... mingyu and i call one

 **jeonghangyourself:** cheol n i too

 **asshaole:** WGysudafvh wonu what are yall boutta fuck

 **mingyuwu:** ~~hopefully~~ whatsjjsj NO

 **succmin:** and i obviously get a bedroom to lol its my house

 **churchoppa:** ok so jihoonie and i get the couch bed thingy

 **succmin:** sounds like a plan :)

 **bbyboo:** idk about yall but bitch im packing

 **junhuithebadbitch:** ^ me 2

 **thechanson:** thank u so much seok we love you <33333

 **jeonghangyourself:** rt

 **seungchode:** ^

 **unlcecracker:** ^ so much

 **junhuithebadbitch:** ^^^

 **mingyuwu:** ^^^^^^^!!!!!

 **unclecracker:** ^^  <3<33

 **asshaole:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^

 **chansdaddy:** ^^ thank u so mucH bro ilyyy

 **churchoppa:** ^^^ <//3

 **bbyboo:**  ^^^^

 **headlinesheadlines:**  ^ ^

 **leefuckingjihoon:**.....

 **leefuckingjihoon:** ^

 **churchoppa:** ok u love him but not me

 **leefuckingjihoon:** shut up u fucking perfect ass bitch i love you with my entire being >:||||

 **mingyuwu:** thats,,,,, the cutest shit ive ever seen gtg im cri

 **succmin:** wtf im crying i love yall so muchhhisjwjfh


	5. ladies and gentlemen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its valentines day with the gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so! this one has a bit of actual book formatting in it, just saying!!

_6:58 pm, Wednesday, Feb 14th, 2018._

**unclecracker:**  i know i say this every day but today im serious

 **unclecracker:** i am going to kill myself

 **mingyuwu:** pls don't  ~~i love you~~

 **mingyuwu:** whats ur address

 **bbyboo:** you know he's not serious right

 **junhuithebadbitch:** stfu hoe

 **asshaole:** yeah be quiet seungkwan 

_**headlinesheadlines** changed his id to  **solhan**_

**solhan:** sorry yall i had to anyways go on

 **unclecracker:** i got a call from my mom today

 **succmin:** aw that's nice

 **bbyboo:** ew who thefuck would wanna call you

 **jeonghangyourself:** mingyu, but that's tea!!

 **mingyuwu:** do yall know his address

 **thechanson:** ye i got u

 **unclecracker:** and of course she asked me if i had a damn valentine this year and of course as always i said no and that it was never going to be a girl because 

 **unclecracker:** _of course_ she had to ask me if i was done with my "boy liking phase"

 **seungchode:** :( that sucks

 **unclecracker:** oh no im not done

 **asshaole:** of course not

 **unclecracker:** and so i had to explain that i was always going to be gay once again and she said okay and then proceeded to tell me about how i should be more like my brother 

 **unclecracker:** because he's straight and has a girlfriend

 **chansdaddy:** lmao can't relate both me and my sister are gay or at least a little gay and my parents know and appreciate it

 **chansdaddy:** anyways

 **unclecracker:** and so i was like mom is this all you called to talk to me about

 **bbyboo:** mingyu why do u want our address what

 **unclecracker:** and she said no i was also calling to tell you that your pet goldfish died and so of course

 **thechanson:** :'-(

 **unclecracker:** i started crying 

 **unclecracker:** and she was like "stop crying wonwoo you're overreacting" then hung up.

 **mingyuwu:** because i just do ok seungkwan come out side for a moment

 **solhan:** im sorry wonu :( that sucks

 **seungchode:** yeah^ 

 **junhuithebadbitch:** honestly yeah it does! but you know what!!!? you're a bad thang and you dont need her opinion to be the baddest bitch of them all! you know that! 

_**mingyuwu** changed  **unclecracker** 's id to  **wonuline**._

**mingyuwu:** WONULINE YOU DEVINE 

 **mingyuwu:** MIGHTY FINE

 **chansdaddy:** SHAWTY REALLY BLOW THE PIPE

 **succmin:** LIKE A PROOOO

 **asshaole:** hm

                       fucc

u 

                             thought

 **bbyboo:** han im coming over

 **jeonghangyourself:**  cheol pls come pick me up i'm at work and my ass feels empty

 **junhuithebadbitch:**  hao i love u more than anything

 **asshaole:**  i love you too junnie :-) 

 **churchoppa:**  hey yall.

 **leefuckingjihoon:**  whats good? : -)

 **thechanson:**  jihoon just got fucked i can tell

 **leefuckingjihoon:**  it is valentines day : )

 **solhan:**  correct me if im stupid but doesn't ace mean you don't want dicc

 **leefuckingjihoon:**  yes, BUT 

 **leefuckingjihoon:**  theres an acception to this rule. i do have sex with joshua, but not because i desire such. i do it because,,,,

 **succmin:**  you LOOOOVE him

 **leefuckingjihoon:**  ^

 **churchoppa:** he does it to make me happy : - ) and i love him more than i can say for that and much more

 **wonuline:** stop. im already fucking depression because alicia keys is dead and i don't have a boo. stop reminding me

 **bbyboo:** WHSTSKSK aliCIA KEYS IS DEAD

 **wonuline:** oh uh my goldfishes name was alicia keys....

 **mingyuwu:** ladies and gentlemen i have an announcement

 **mingyuwu:** i am in love with jeon wonwoo and i want him to be mine

 **bbyboo:** wonu go downstairs to the kitchen

 **wonuline:** o.  k

\---

wonwoo finds it hard to breathe as he stands up and walks down the stairs. he takes a deep breath in. he's nervous as can be, because he's 99% sure mingyu is in the kitchen with a confession waiting, although he basically already covered that.

it smells like food and flowers. he smiles as he rounds the corner, seeing mingyu sitting at his counter. a couple of to go boxes, roses, and a box of chocolates sit on the counter next to him. 

he breathes out. "uh... hey."

"hello beautiful. happy valentines day." mingyu smiles and stands up, opening his arms. wonwoo's nerves melt away as he walks up and hugs mingyu with the most love he's ever felt. 

they eventually pull back from the embrace. 

"i'm sure you picked up on this already, but i have a question for you." mingyu says, picking a singular rose from the dozen. 

wonwoo looks back at the ethereal man in front of him. "go for it." 

"will you be my-" 

just then, they hear the door open. both their heads turn, inspecting the area from which the sound came. 

it's seungkwan.

"oh, fuck. sorry guys, i forgot my charger, let me just-" he plucks it from the wall next to the toaster, and walks right back out. 

mingyu turns back to wonwoo. "boyfriend?" 

wonwoo laughs. "i mean, how could i say no?" 

they spend the rest of the night eating and cuddling in wonwoo's bed. no more than cuddling, they promise. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all honestly i'm sorry about this it's 1. late and 2. a mess lmaoo enjoy anyways!!


	6. another announcment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> exciting news and preparation wit the gang

_2:57 pm, Friday, Feb 16th, 2018._

**bbyboo:** yall i am s o excited im going to pee myself

 **solhan:** pls no i just washed my sheets

 **seungchode:** lmfao i remember one time when jeonghan wet my bed with me in it because he was so drunk

 **jeonghangyourself:** oh, the good old days :-')

 **leefuckingjihoon:** ew shut the fuck up

 **succmin:** ok well, kwan ur gonna wanna get off his bed for this one buddy

 **wonuline:** whaT seok no more surprises pls youvedone enougH

 **mingyuwu:** speaking of surprises!

 **juhnuithebadbitch:** oh fuck

 **succmin:** were going to disney world!!!!1!111

 **thechanson:** sEOKNF arE u SER iUoS

 **chansdaddy:** yup!! :)

 **churchoppa:** :))

 **asshaole:** its true!

 **mingyuwu:** mhm!! : )

 **chansdaddy:** we decided that since we were all going for the first time we should go to the FAMOUS disney world!!

 **wonuline:** jsajskjsdj HOWD u GE t THAT KIND oF MONEY

 **churchoppa:** well i have parents that love giving me money instead of love

 **chansdaddy:** i got a grindr and sent people nudes for lots of money

 **mingyuwu:** i sold like half my moms antique shit that was in my attic

 **asshaole:** i have like a bunch of savings and i wasnt planning on using it for a while 

 **succmin:** and i picked up a few extra shifts at work

 **bbyboo:** i am screaming and pissing myself simultaneously

 **wonuline:** KSJJKAJKSJ omfg GUYS I LOvE yU tHANk yaLL SO MUCHkj

 **junhuithebadbitch:** me tooooo!!! omg im so fucking grateful ilyall

 **asshaole:** we love u too :,)))

 **leefuckingjihoon:** yall better stop with this being great friends shit or i'll go fucking s o fT

 **churchoppa:** what if thats what we want ??

 **mingyuwu:** i have another announcment!!

 **wonuline:** ^ seungkwan ur gonna wanna go to a bathroom for this one

 **bbyboo:** ofjdsbgj 

 **mingyuwu:** we're a couple now!!!1

 **wonuline:** ^

 **jeonghangyourself:** not to be THat bitch but we kinda knew that already

 **churchoppa:** but we're still v happy for you guys!!1 :)

 **seungchode:** wow thats great boyos!!!111!

 **junhuithebadbitch:** ok now back to the important shit

 **junhuithebadbitch:** whos ready??????????

 **solhan:** ME bitch

 **chansdaddy:** o ye whos house are we going to?

 **seungchode:** ^?

 **wonuline:** we can stay @ mine bc hansol n gyu r already here

 **bbyboo:** ^

 **asshaole:** ok who are we picking up?

 **thechanson:** soonie n i because we are not finta walk all he way there!!!

 **bbyboo:** u live like a minute and a half away but ight

 **jeonghangyourself:** i have the van, josh and jihoon??

 **leefuckingjihoon:** we're not ready yet how pick up seok first

 **seungchode:** ok ;))))

 **solhan:** i love u all

 **junhuithebadbitch:** i love me too

 **bbyboo:** shut up asshat

 **bbyboo:** we love u too han <33

 **asshaole:** lol we cant have seungkwan and jun ride in the same car ok???

 **thechanson:** agreeeeed

 **succmin:** i thought that was alreadya rule but ight

 **asshaole:** do u guys want pizza bc im assumin yall have no food @ the house

 **wonuline:** u right

 **wonuline:** if u would be so kind

 **junhuithebadbitch:** sounds good

 **thechanson:** this is our first official squad sleepover with mingyu omgdhjs im so excited 

 **solhan:** omg ur right thats crispy

 **mingyuwu:** awwww u right :,) i feel like part of a family

 **seungchode:** thats because you are part of a family <3

 **leefuckingjihoon:** i just pu k ed

 **churchoppa:** lol no that was just my nut in ur mouth sweety

 **bbyboo:** lkJDKDH 

 **wonuline:** i fuking SNORTED

 **mingyuwu:** wonu where are the towels? dont u wanna wipe my nut off ur face?

 **bbyboo:** KDNBJSBDSKFCB 

 **thechanson:** a bitch CAKCLED

 **succmin:** thats ENOUGH

 **jeonghangyourself:** yall need to sTOP you got people coming over

 **asshaole:** lmfao jeonghan shut up you and seungcheol fucked right in front of me

 **chansdaddy:** its true

 **seungchode:** ONCE

 **mingyuwu:** thats one too many times bucko

 **junhuithebadbitch:** we're here should we wait or can we walk in??1/1

 **bbyboo:** UHhh JUst A second

 **solhan:** yeah lol ONE mOmenT pls

 **chansdaddy:** for CHrISTs sake KIDS CANT YOU FUCK IN A BEDROOM?

 **thechanson:** preferably ur own??

 **bbyboo:** oops

 **wonuline:** wOah who just screeched like a little girl

 **asshaole:** sORRY I PUT MY HAND IN SOMEONes FUKCINGF NUT

 **solhan:** soRRY

 **mingyuwu:** oh my god thats disgusting gtg

 **seungchode:** we're here

 **leefuckingjihoon:** if i come within a 4 foot radius of anyone's nut i will leave and never come back

 **junhuithebadbitch:** hunty prepare to leave, there are six couples staying in ahouse overnight

 **succmin:** i call the couch

 **jeonghangyourself:** mingyu and wonu come eat before we eat it all 

 **wonuline:** ok sorry im just washing my face because SOMEONE cant fucking aim

 **mingyuwu:** sorry :)

 **asshaole:** k this has to stop NOw

 **bbyboo:** ok ok!!

 **seungchode:** agreed. no more of that till we get there, k?!?!?

 **jeonghangyourself:** that excludes bathrooms of any kind, go at it kids!

 **succmin:**.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey yall! this is going to be based off my actual experience(s) at disney world because i am in florida right now!! :) enjoy!!<33


	7. we out this bitch!!1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they leave with everyone and everything intact, miraculously

_3:54 am, Saturday, Feb 17th, 2018._

**seungchode:** lmadkj poopy

_8:37 am, Saturday, Feb 17th, 2018._

**chansdaddy:** lmaodjjd the word poop is so fuckjng funny what the fuck

 **jeonghangyourself:** no its not ur just childish

 **bbyboo:** yes it is ur just an ugly humorless hoe 

 **junhuithebadbitch:** the trash is right

 **solhan:** cant we just,,, be nice

 **churchoppa:** ^??

 **asshaole:** these mf white people

 **seungchode:** wtf i dont remember typing that im laugiNFh

 **wonuline:** come down and eat guys

 **mingyuwu:** pls enjoy it im a freaking chef!!

 **leefuckingjihoon:** gordon ramsay would say ur an idiot sandwich but oK

 **thechanson:** dont worry mingyu theyll love it lol theyre just not morning people

 **succmin:** i dont understand that like you have to encounter mornings anyways so why not be happy??

 **jeonghangyourself:** SoRRy WEre not all just ETERNALLY HAOOY LIKE YOU SeOKmIn

 **seungchode:** sorry in advance guys

 **churchoppa:** ^

 **thechanson:** duuuuuude mingyu is really a chef wtf

 **mingyuwu:** huehue thanks :3

 **wonuline:** u so

                             fukin

     preciuos

                                         when u

    do _literally_ a n y t h i n g

_8:50 am, Saturday, Feb 17th, 2018._

**asshaole:** how much did u pay jeonghan to say he liked the omlette

 **wonuline:** ,,,,, $0

 **jeonghangyourself:** its true bro shit was GOOd

 **leefuckingjihoon:** ^

 **seungchode:** ok guys we gotta leave this household in 15 minutes r yall ready???????????

 **asshaole:** no 

 **bbyboo:** ^

 **succmin:** then get ready stupit biches

 **solhan:** aye aye caption

 **wonuline:** sometimes i think youre actually fucking  _slow_

 **wonuline:** then i remember that its true

  _9:03 am, Saturday, Feb 17th, 2018._

 **seungchode:** everyone in a car?????

 **bbyboo:** you just asked us irl before we left and yes, we are all still in a car.

 **leefuckingjihoon:** u never know, someone could fucking barrel roll out that bitch

 **solhan:** or aliens could abduct anyone anyehere at any moment

 **mingyuwu:** what

 **junhuithebadbitch:** hansol has this weird fucking thing with aliens like he's obsessed with them

 **mingyuwu:** haha

 **wonuline:** u wish it was a joke like were convinced that he makes tinfoil hats in his basement and thinks the CIA steals his trash

 **bbyboo:** its a real issue.

_9:37 am, Saturday, Feb 17th, 2018._

**succmin:**  everyone here?????1?1?

 **wonuline:** nope gyu and i are in the bathroom

 **junhuithebadbitch:** hao n chan n i are at starbucks

 **seungchode:** weve been here for 1.4 minutes. HOw

 **churchoppa:** dont even ask because no one fucking knows

 **succmin:** ok yall all im saying is that we gotta be past security by 10:30. ok?

 **chansdaddy:** gotcha

_10:24 am, Saturday, Feb 17th, 2018._

**wonuline:**  minGHAO WHERE ARE YOu

 **asshaole:** next to you stupid bich

_11:00 am, Saturday, Feb 17th, 2018._

**jeonghangyourself:**  damn im proud we all made it and were all here 

 **bbyboo:**  yeah me too. SOMEONE had to stop and fucking take pictures

 **solhan:**  soRRY BAE

 **seungchode:**  kill whitey! kill whitey! 

 **thechanson:**  phones away ladies! we finta take flight.

 **junhuithebadbitch:**  sianara hoes

 _4:46 pm,_   _Sunday, Feb 18th, 2018._

 **jeonghangyourself:**  WE HERE BITCHES

 **bbyboo:**  i am. SCRWAMING

 **chansdaddy:**  who else wanted to rko that baby that kept fucking screaming i sure did

 **solhan:** kids = satan

 **churchoppa:** kwan where r u

 **bbyboo:** im in the bathroom wait 4 me

 **junhuithebadbitch:** RUN

 **bbyboo:** wHAY

 

 

> are u 

RUNNING

                     WHAY

ArE yOu 

       RUnNING

 **wonuline:** lmakdodk 

 **mingyuwu:**  u know what i wanna try???

 **leefuckingjihoon:** shutting the fuck up for a sec???1?

 **mingyuwu:** edibles

 **churchoppa:** i got u b

 **asshaole:** joshua ur a drug dealer why didn't u tell me

 **churchoppa:** jwksks no im n O T

 **churchoppa:** but my friend is :)

 **solhan:** joshua what the fuck

 **leefuckingjihoon:** bitch he lived in america for 19 years u dont think he's done drugs/knows drug dealers 

 **wonuline:** lmao i forgot that weed is legal here wowowow

 **seungchode:** im down how much should i pitch in

 **succmin:** yall shouldnt we be working on a way to get to where we're living for two weeks before we get crazy

 **jeonghangyourself:** for once i agree that we should put getting retarded second

 **chansdaddy:** wow thats crazy

 **thechanson:** ikr i never thought we'd be in america let alone doing drugs in america!!! shits wildt

 **chansdaddy:** lmfao i meant the jeonghan thing but yes i agree

  _5:15 pm, Sunday, Feb 18th, 2018._

 **bbyboo:**  sEok thiS IS THE N IC Est HOUSE IVE EVER BEEN IN WHat thE F6C K

 **junhuithebadbitch:** ^

 **succmin:** :') im glad u like it!!

 **wonuline:** gyu n i are gonna go get groceries someone come with

 **chansdaddy:** mk i will & josh come too since u speak american

 **solhan:** AMERICAN

_**churchoppa** changed his id to  **americanspeaker**_

**americanspeaker:** ok im comin

 **thechanson:** dont get lost!! <3

_5:36 pm, Sunday, Feb 18th, 2018._

**chansdaddy:** im lost 

 **chansdaddy:**  jkim found 

 **americanspeaker:** soonyoung we were one isle over wjdkdk

 **asshaole:** seok where r the cups

 **junhuithebadbitch:** ^ 

 **bbyboo:** hes sleeping look urselves

 **jeonghangyourself:** bitch how am i still cute when i literally just go off a 15 hour flight wtf

 **leefuckingjihoon:** im telling u its this white people air it's refreshing 

 **solhan:** i laughed

 **americanspeaker:** oh yeah guys i texted my friend and he said it's $6 per edible but they're super strong and for a first time u should only eat like a third

 **mingyuwu:** ok well how many of us wanna try it

 **bbyboo:** me n han

 **junhuithebadbitch:** hao and i

 **thechanson:** me & soon

 **leefuckingjihoon:** me

 **seungchode:** us

 **americanspeaker:** so basically everyone

 **chansdaddy:** mhm

 **americanspeaker:** k everyone give me $ and i'll get 4 of them and seungkwan and chan chan share a third because they're extreme lightweights

 **bbyboo:** i'd be mad but tis true

 **thechanson:** ^

 **asshaole:** get home were hungry

 **mingyuwu:** ok ok were almost done

 **wonuline:** ^ be right there

_6:28 pm, Sunday, Feb 18th, 2018._

**junhuithebadbitch:**  where the fuck u at

 **americanspeaker:** sorry we,,, had a situation

 **bbyboo:** it better have been with beyoncé or something because my fucking stomach is eating itself

 **wonuline:** actually it's funny u should say that because we ran into beyoncé at the store

 **mingyuwu:** but thats not why were not home yet

 **solhan:** i would say im hungry but i just ate some ass so im all good ;p

 **wonuline:** didnt need to know

 **succmin:** i just woke up what year is it

 **succmin:** woah ok drugs

 **succmin:** what happened1?2!2?

 **seungchode:** calm down buster were getting there

 **mingyuwu:** ok so. i was literally about to piss myself on the way home and so we had to pull over and just as i whipped out my dick to pee the cops pulled up and i didn't know what they were saying so they thought i was being uncooperative but i just didn't know what they were saying and so josh had to translate and they got suspicious and took me in 

 **jeonghangyourself:** hahHAHAHA

 **wonuline:** theres more

 **americanspeaker:** one of the cops was black and soonyoung said 니가 and he heard it as the n word and skdkdksk it was horrible the cops hate us now hehe

 **wonuline:** but we just got chick fil a and were on r way back

 **bbyboo:** YOU GUYS MET BEYONCE

 **thechanson:** PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN

 **thechanson:** and where's soonie rn??? 

 **wonuline:** driving

 **americanspeaker:** [image file attached]

 **jeonghangyourself:** JWDKKSMA I AM YELLINF

 **succmin:** d a M n

 **leefuckingjihoon:** lmfao yall stupid as fuck 

 **americanspeaker:** but u love us ;)

 **leefuckingjihoon:** sometimes

 


	8. fuck!! come back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day one with the gang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! how are u today?? 
> 
> follow me on twitter if you'd like @seungkweer :)

_10:40 am, Monday, February 19th, 2018._

**chansdaddy:** yall i am s O excited ajdksks

 **succmin:** me too bro!!! ok does everyone know the plan?

 **jeonghangyourself:** no what we have a plan

 **wonuline:** ,,,  _yes_

 **mingyuwu:**  guys come eat lunch i made chicken fettuccine alfredo

 **leefuckingjihoon:** oo bet ok

 **americanspeaker:** yummy ok what's the plan yall

 **seungchode:** ok we're leaving at 11:00 and we're spending today at magic kingdom until 4:30. everyone pack one bottle of water and whatever else in a bag. jeonghan please bring sunscreen, i know u burn easily

 **jeonghangyourself:** ok. seriously yall come eat we got 20 minutes till we gotta go

 **bbyboo:** what i just woke up

 **solhan:** ^

 **thechanson:** good morning yall come eat lunch ok

 **bbyboo:**  o,,,k

 **jeonghangyourself:**  josh can we do the edibles before u go

 **americanspeaker:**  i wouldn't suggest that if you wanna drink

 **seungchode:**  ,,,, yeah that's a no

 **chansdaddy:**  channie do u wanna try them i think it'll be fun

 **thechanson:**  sure lol why not

 **solhan:**  oh god seok u wanna be their designated 3rd wheel

 **succmin:**  of course

 **mingyuwu:**  do we have fast passes???

 **asshaole:**  wait what hello sorry i was sucking dick

 **seungchode:**  ,,,, anyways

 **seungchode:**  yes we have the wristbands that give u unlimited fast passes :)

 **wonuline:**  oooooo bet i wanna go on alllll the rides

 **wonuline:**  especially splash mountain that looks crispy

 **americanspeaker:**  it is tbh i love it a lot

 **seungchode:**  ok yall are u ready to go we got 8 minutes

 **solhan:**  wait fuck no we're not even done eating

 **junhuithebadbitch:**  wkdksksm wait what y'all are eating

 **jeonghangyourself:**  .

_10:57 am, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**thechanson:** josh how long does it take for the edibles to kick in

 **americanspeaker:**  shouldnt take too long for yall

 **chansdaddy:** well ok then

_11:17 am, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**seungchode:** everyone past security???

 **succmin:** i got all mine

 **jeonghangyourself:** we good!

 **mingyuwu:** ok lets get on the ferry yall

 **thechanson:** ight !!

_11:29 am_ _, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**asshaole:** fuck come back

 **bbyboo:** wait WHAT

 **junhuithebadbitch:** this fucking fat bitch stepped on my shoe then her ugly ass kid told me to move so i said the only english words i know which are "fuck you" and she got mad and her fucking 12 year old son tried to jump me lmfao

 **jeonghangyourself:** did u snatch him???

 **solhan:** fuck yeah he did lmfao

 **asshaole:** and, as you all know, im studying english so i said "get off my man, ugly whore" and handsoap here fucking screamed

 **junhuithebadbitch:** ok where yall at??!

 **americanspeaker:** we're sitting in that square thingy next to the ferry loading doc thing w all the flowers

 **leefuckingjihoon:** hurry the fuck up and grab your boyfriends hand when you get here

 **solhan:** got it

_12:03 pm, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**jeonghangyourself:** why is there so much fucking security what the hell

 **wonuline:** so people dont fucking bomb the place

 **bbyboo:** how are you texting so fast with one hand mingyus got a mf death grip on you

 **mingyuwu:** is it that obvious

 **seungchode:** josh ur gonna have to be our translator buddy

 **solhan:** lol ok its not like i can speak fluent english or anything no

 **leefuckingjihoon:** u act like it's fun to have to translate for fucking retards

 **chansdaddy:** i an floating

 **succmin:** chan is literally crying from laughing so hard because i said "i spot front butt" 

 **americanspeaker:** lmfao they're high!! good luck buddy

 **mingyuwu:** wonu and i are gonna go to splash mountain bye

 **jeonghangyourself:** cheol, soo, jihoon and i are gonna go find drinks sianara

 **junhuithebadbitch:** hao and verkwan and i are going to space mountain peace out

 **americanspeaker:** seok if anyone starts crying and or having a panic attack call me ok

 **succmin:**  JEJSKS WHAT

 **solhan:**  have fun!!:)

_12:38 pm, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**wonuline:** yall splash mountain is so crispy because u kinda feel like you might fucking die 

 **mingyuwu:**  the fact that that's why u like it is scary

_12:56 pm, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**solhan:** seungkwan bought minnie ears and they're bedazzled and cute skdksk im SCREAMINFG

 **asshaole:** ok yall jun and i just walked past these two girls and they were so crispy one had this like red bando thingy and a giant hawaiian shirt and shorts on and the other was wearing this black bralette and a grey hawaiian shirt and ripped jeans and she had cute grey hair what the fuck americans are so crispy

 **junhuithebadbitch:** also the aladdin ride is so fun what the fuck

 **leefuckingjihoon:** jeonghan just bought a whole round of shots for himself imsbkdmdm

_2:16 pm, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**chandaddy:** guyS i jsyt wen t on thunder mountaib with chan n sok and it was so fuN 

 **succmin:** guys ive never heard chan scream so fucking loud osnsn and we saw the 2 girls u were talking about they are adorable what the frick

 **solhan:** seungkwan just told some little ass girl that was crying to be grateful and shut up sjsmsmsk and heR parents laughed it was so funny

 **bbyboo:** she was actually SCREECHING about a hotdog like shut up hun you didn't pay the $9 for it

 **seungchode:** woooooohooooooo buccysj theres a snake in my boot

 **americanspeaker:** were going on splash mountain is it cool

 **wonuline:** yes! you'll like it

 **mingyuwu:** were eating this thing called a dole whip and it's so good wHat the fuck

_3:37 pm, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**asshaole:** i can hear soonyoung and chan from the line outside in space mountain bitch im laughing

 **jeonghanyourself:** gUys T he's a c Ute baby he re i wnan pet he r

 **leefuckingjihoon:** i am literally holding him back from petting this little girl help

 **seungchode:** hHJasm sk

 **thechanson:** this building is chode shaped anD it's fuuuuuNy

 **junhuithebadbitch:** lmfao im pretending i don't know them because they're behind us in line whsjsk

 **mingyuwu:** guys i just saw jeonghan and cell and jihoon and joshua anD

 **mingyuwu:** jihoon was pouting and joshua poked his sides and kissed his nose it was so cute gTg

 **asshaole:** if i have to hear this health warning one more time in going to punch chan in the face

 **thechanson:** whT why me e e

_3:47 pm, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**bbyboo:** han and i just went on the magic carpet ride it was so fuN skdksk

 **wonuline:** they have a cute candy shop omg it smells like cotton candy im going to have a stroke 

 **wonuline:** im SERIOUS cardiac arrest level 10

 **junhuithebadbitch:** of COURSE soonyoung and chan had to be in our same fucking cart of course

 **thechanson:** gUye that ride 2s widlt

 **succmin:** lmfaodkdn soonyoung yelled "hopefully we don't find out i have epilepsy right now that would suck" and the lady almost didn't let us on bitxjsks

 **mingyuwu:**  how the fuck do i say no to wonwoo i just spent $30 on rice crispies nd cupcakes and sjkememw 

 **leefuckingjihoon:**  thunder mountain was so fucKng fun damn

 **bbyboo:** yall is splash mountain crispy

 **wonuline:** yes yes it is

 **solhan:** lmfaokdn were in line and some lil girl and her friend who are probably our age told me i was cute and seungkwan said and i quote "but he's gay and has a boyfriend, goodbye!" and turned the two girls around by the shoulders and pushed they asses the other way skdksowoemfjdk 

 **bbyboo:** aint no hoes boutta talk to my boy

_4:09 pm, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**succmin:**  ok everyone time to start going towards the exit

 **jeonghangyourself:** but virgiandndj

 **americanspeaker:** ight were on it

_4:17 pm, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**wonuline:**  where the fuck are u guys wtsgsg

 **asshaole:** lol we missed the ferry because chan and soonyoung had to pee

 **americanspeaker:** get here because jeonghan just passed the fuck out and cheol isn't far behind that

_4:39 pm, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**succmin:**  everyone grab your boyfriends hand and/or someone under the influence and get the fuck out this bitch

 **mingyuwu:** jeonghan is so fucking heavy hel p why is he on MY back

 **junhuithebadbitch:** u offered???

 **mingyuwu:** ,, ur right

_5:19 pm, Monday, Feb 19th, 2018._

**bbyboo:**  thsnk fuckin GOD were home i was about to die han come nap with me

 **solhan:** gladly

 **asshaole:** ^ jun

 **junhuithebadbitch:** ok <3

 **mingyuwu:** wonu come shower with me

 **wonuline:** MINGYU not in the gC

 **wonuline:** but ok ;-)

 **succmin:** im going to eat by myself cheol and han are sleeping on the floor of the downstairs bathroom & soon and chan are in the kitchen josh and join pls watch them thanks i love u gays

 **leefuckingjihoon:** josh i love u but im so fucking tired can i please go nap

 **americanspeaker:** of course bby i got this <33 love u too

 **thechanson:** how do you makd waterim hungry

 


	9. minnie mouse,,, im comin for u bitch!!1!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> day two of disney

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AND ITS SO SHORT ILY THANKS FOR READING

_1:38 pm, Wednesday, Feb 21st, 2018._

**jeonghangyourself:** ok bitches its time to go !!!

 **bbyboo:** shit ok wait

 **wonuline:** seungkwan really,,, were literally in the car

 **mingyuwu:** hurry up bitch

 **thechanson:** hurry the fuck up

 **seungchode:** gUys what im pulling out of the driveway in 3 minutes

 **succmin:** why arent u guys ready weve been telling u to get ready since noon come on

 **junhuithebadbitch:** u know what some of us have dicks to suck lmfaooo

 **seungchode:** goodbye.

 **solhan:** OJE MORE MINUsE

 **jeonghangyourself:** come the fuck on retards 

 **leefuckingjihoon:** 30 seconds before i sn ap

 **americanspeaker:** ok! were all here now lets gO

_2:21pm, Wednesday, Feb 21st, 2018._

**seungchode:**  everyone past security???? 

 **wonuline:** we good! ok bye yall mingyu and i are going to the tower of terror 

 **mingyuwu:** ight bye

 **thechanson:** wait ok soonie i wanna go eat come w me 

 **chansdaddy:** kk

 **americanspeaker:** ok verkwan and jihoon lets go to the all around the world ride

 **bbyboo:** ight :))

 **leefuckingjihoon:** why with them tf i hate them

  **americanspeaker:** be nice baby

 **seungchode:** hannie n i will be somewhere probably getting drunk bye

 **jeonghangyourself:** yuh

 **succmin:** junhao, lets go!!!!

 **junhuithebadbitch:** uuuuuughdhs ok

 **asshaole:** ight

 _1: 50 pm,_ _Wednesday, Feb 21st, 2018._

 **wonuline:**  i,,, have never screamed louder

 **mingyuwu:** untrue ;)

 **bbyboo:** ahut uP

 **jeonghangyourself:** MEET US AT THE ENTRANCE WE'RE LEAVING

 **asshaole:** but mooooooooooom

 **succmin:** what why

 **jeonghangyourself:** seungcheol just got us kicked out : )

 **solhan:** HOW 

 **leefuckingjihoon:** for FUCKS SAKE

 **bbyboo:** im surprised you didn't get us kicked out from flipping off that one employee who told u to stop touching the buttons on the control panel for the ride 

 **leefuckingjihoon:** shut up fatass im surprised they even let you on

 **solhan:** please don't call him fat :'( it hurts his feelings

 **leefuckingjihoon:** thats the poInt

 **jeonghangyourself:** SOME GUY TOUCHED MY BUTT AND I TOLD SEUNGCHEOL AND I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA QUIETLY TELL HIM HE WOULD RIP OFF HIS DICK IF HE DID UT AGAIN BUT HE FUCKING

 **mingyuwu:** WHAT

 **chansdaddy:** i AM LAUGHINGFJ I SAW THUS THROUGH A STORE WINDOWJDKSK

 **jeonghangyourself:** HE FUCKING SOUPLEXED THE GUY IN FRONT OF HIS WIFE AND KIDS AND TOLD THEM THEIR DAD WAS A WHORE IN ENGLISH AND I WAS LIKE WHERED U LEARN THAT

 **thechanson:** WELL THEN

 **jeonghangyourself:** yeaH so lets go

**Author's Note:**

> so,,,, yeah


End file.
